HARKS no longer

So if you've ever tossed back a drink with me (and if you've hung out with me, you've probably tossed back a drink with me), you've probably seen my lower lip tattoo. It says SHARKS, but the first S faded completely. So it said HARKS. People would see it, and ask, "What the fuck is HARKS?" I'd usually reply to stupid people, "A line from my favorite Christmas song: Harks, the herald angel sings, glory to the newborn king!"

Well, I got the tattoo when I went to Santa Barbara for my birthday last September. I was shitcanned at a bar with Brett and the funboys. And they were like, we wanna get tattoos (at a parlor called Precious Slut, no less, that takes even the drunkest tattoo candidates). We had no idea what we were gonna get, so we decided to all get our favorite sports teams on our lips. Chad got DODGERS, Brett got YANKEES, I got SHARKS, and John, since he only likes surfing, got SHAKA. As in, "Shaka, bra." Seriously. Fast forwards 6 months, and DODGERS turned to DOOGLES. YANKEES turned to YAVKLES. SHARKS turned to HARKS. And no one knows what SHAKA says cuz we haven't seen John.

This is why when I refer to my San Jose Sharks, I type it out: sHARKS.

Well, no longer. I got mine touched up this last weekend when I was in Santa Barbara. SHARKS, baby (ignore the fact that they lost games 1 and 2 against Dallas, I sure have). Well, I go under the (needle) gun and I get what I think was a genius idea. After the tattoo guy touched up the bottom lip, I ask how much he would charge to draw a silly moustache on the upper lip. He laughed, said he'd never done an upper, and said free. Fast forward 5 minutes, and I'm literally crying. The bottom lip was easy. The top was the most terrible pain I've ever felt. It felt like he was tattooing inside my teeth. The moustache looks shitty, and I'm never getting it touched up.