GO sHARKS!`

So the Sharks are winning. The series is 3-2 against Calgary. If you know me, you know this is important. But it also means I've been hitting the bottle a bit too hard. Like millions, ney, hundreds of other Americans, NHL playoffs are a sensitive time in my life every year. I've got to celebrate Shark victories, but also, I've got to commiserate with my boys when they suffer defeat. Usually not a big problem, cuz the Sharks don't lose much... and I'm pretty good with being hungover at work (side note: one of the Mexican janitors calls me "Senor Resaco", or Mr. Hangover for the amount of naps I take on the couch in the break room. He usually taps me with his mop and wakes me up as he says this).

Well, I've met a girl. Like, a really good one. Her name is K8. She pritty. Listen to the Derek and the Dominos (Eric Clapton) song "Layla". The first half is over-rated, but the outro is awesome. I want that song to be playing while I drive off into the sunset with Kate. And I want to look into her eyes and say, "Babe, it don't matter none that you make minimum wage and I'm unemployed. I got a feeling everything's gonna be allllllllll, right." Except she's got a pretty good job as a graphic designer (she makes mostly wine labels). Breadwinnner. The "Layla" thing is just to demonstrate how much I like her.

Well, the Sharks are getting between me and happiness. Or rather my love for the Sharks. Or rather my love for drinking when the Sharks succeed (and we all know they aren't about to stop succeeding). I've shown up at the lady's house black-out drunk after Sharks games on two occasions now. And I think it needs to stop. To put it in perspective, I don't think Evan and I are welcome back at the sports bar we went to last night. There were some Calgary fans in the place, and I asked them really loud across the bar what barnyard animal was their favorite to have sex with, compared to which kind they prefer to date, and why. And I'm not pointing fingers, but there was vomit in the urinal by the time we left.

In other news, I'd like to mention a few things I've found in the last week:

1) empty cocaine bag: it fells out of a costumer's bag at work

2) live .50 caliber hollow-point round: Kate found it outside my work and gave it to me as a gift (she knows how much I like shiny gold things), not knowing how ruthlessly dangerous an item it was