Best. Road trip. Ever.

Go to Google Maps.
Get directions from "China" to "Japan".
Scroll down to step #42.

craigslist missed connection / funny story

BART, ice hockey, and definitely no bras - m4w - 24 (oakland downtown)

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Reply to: pers-8rxzj-1265203695@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}
Date: 2009-07-11, 3:23PM PDT


Okay, this was too good to be true.

My hetero-life-partner-in-crime and I are taking BART to play ice hockey in Oakland. You're at the BART station waiting for a train as well. I'm giving you silly eyes the whole time, and maybe you're giving them back to me, I dunno. Inconsequential at this point. You end up sitting just a bit behind us. At the next stop, a group of really annoying high school aged girls come on. They're standing right next to this hobo looking fella, let's call him Stanley. Well, I don't know if you could hear or smell this, but Stan had some disturbing gastrointestinal issues going on, and he was letting them rip.

The high school girls move away from him a bit (for obvious reason), and start rough housing/goofing around. My buddy and I confirm that in 30 years, when we'll making curfews for our daughters, we must remember this moment. At this point there's train issues, and we're held up a bit. There's a line forming next to the door to get off at the next station, I want to say it was Oakland City Center/12th St, but I don't exactly recall. Stan keeps farting up a storm. My friend starts making eyes a (non-high school) girl waiting to get off the train, let's call her Betty. You get in line to get off the train too. The doors open. Betty walks out. My buddy says, "Yeah, that girl wasn't wearing a bra." You and I make eye contact, we both crack smiles, giggle the tiniest amount possible, I say, "Oh..." (as much to you as to my friend) and you exit the train (mind the gap).

We made eye contact again through the BART window, and then I sped off on a train while you went to destinations unknown.

That was fun. Made my evening.

The Public Education System is Broken

I was just walking home from a bar (duh) just up the hill from my apartment. These two trashy (not in a hot way) girls were walking their bikes up the hill going the opposite direction. One says to the other, as serious as cancer, "I know you said that it was easy to ride to the Mission because it was downhill. But it's hard on the way back." This girl didn't understand the concept of hills until 2:03 AM, the morning of July 11th, 2009... sometime in her mid-twenties.

Kobe vs. Barack

If Barack Obama and Kobe Bryant traded places for the next 2.5 weeks, who would you be more worried for: America or the Lakers?

Kobe's trilingual, is probably more popular across the globe, has an icy composure, AND is a late game assassin. Oh yeah, plus America has the House, Senate, and Supreme Court, with Joe Biden coming off the bench. That's a better supporting cast than Obama gets with the LakeShow.

Fantasy Lingerie Football League

So as it turns out, the Lingerie Football League (LFL) has Fantasy Football. Isn't that a bit redundant? I mean, isn't the LFL technically based on fantasy already? If I play LFL Fantasy Football, do I get to have sex with my team? Do characters in The Sims buy computers and play The Sims? So many questions...

Question to Bill Simmons

Who would win in a fight? The starting five of the Celtics or the starting lineup of the Bruins?

ESPN currently lists the Celts as: Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Glen "Giant Baby" Davis, and Kendrick Perkins. If put into a machine that combined them, that's a 1180 pound, 32'8" monster.

OR

The Boston Bruins starting 6 (3 forwards, 2 D, and a goalie): Milan Lucic, Marc Savard, Phil Kessel, Zdeno Chara, Aaron Ward, and Tim Thomas. Added up that's a 1275 pound, 37-foot tall (37'2" in skates) behemoth.

Let's assume the fight is on dry land to make it fair (although it'd be comical to watch this go down in a rink on skates). Also, to even up the numbers (6 on 5 ain't really fair, even with the total weight close to the same), the Celtics also get Doc Rivers. No sporting equipment used as weapons; this isn't the climax to The Warriors, afterall. Oh yeah, and it's to the death. Sorry Boston sports fans.

"ooops, wrong window" of the Day

Daley Tocher: God, Sugi's really riding my ass today
Daley Tocher: ooops, wrong window
sugi lee: LOL

A Song From The Year 2050

Daley Tocher: Okay, you ever have radio on, and it plays a song
Daley Tocher: That is like the most nutzo song you've ever heard?
Daley Tocher: And you're listening to it, but not really paying attention, and then you're like
Daley Tocher: "Jesus, this song is making me crazy."
Ailene Sankur: yes
Ailene Sankur: what song is it?
Daley Tocher: Late of the Pier - The Bears are Coming (Metronomy Remix)
Daley Tocher: It's like 1/2 Devo, 1/2 Prince, but they are performing in Ibiza at a club
Ailene Sankur: am-az-ing
Daley Tocher: I'm listening to it on repeat
Daley Tocher: This song is INSANO
Ailene Sankur: i like
Daley Tocher: How far into it are you?
Daley Tocher: Lyrics yet?
Ailene Sankur: no
Daley Tocher: Princelike.
Ailene Sankur: but i'm dancing in my seat
Daley Tocher: Just wait. It's like the beat in the middle is made with whoopy cushions
Daley Tocher: And Prince has dosed me with LSD
Daley Tocher: And he's laughing at my face.
Ailene Sankur: oh yeah
Ailene Sankur: i hear what you're talking about
Daley Tocher: From the Ibiza stage, of course. And Devo is behind him, playing all the whoopy cushions.
Daley Tocher: I am 100% sure this is what all music sounds like in the year 2050

"ooops, wrong window" of the Day

Ailene Sankur: ah i hate you
Ailene Sankur: you're smarmy
Ailene Sankur: and smug
Daley Tocher: And right?
Ailene Sankur: NO
Ailene Sankur: not right
Daley Tocher: And a quiz genius?
Daley Tocher: Sometimes I pick up prostitutes, bring them back to my apartment and strangle them to death.
Daley Tocher: ooops, wrong window

"ooops, wrong window" of the Day

Ailene Sankur: roomie made dinner
Ailene Sankur: sooo good
Daley Tocher: The hooker I picked up last night was a lot less she- and a lot more -male. Ugh.
Daley Tocher: ooops, wrong window
Ailene Sankur: hahhaha