E-Mail to Bill Simmons/My Own Personal Low

I sent this out to my favorite sports writer, Bill Simmons. He always writes about the movies he comes across while channel surfing, and it was a little bit about sports, so I sent it to him.

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Dearest Bill,

I need your help to determine if I've hit my own personal low. Keep reading, I promise it is really low.

My name is Daley and I'm 24 years old and living in San Francisco. I am blessed to work as a sports trivia/psychic-prediction writer for a pretty cool start-up company (eplay.com) not too far from my house.

So I get off work and ride my bike home (bicycles are common in SF; I'm not a virgin). I'm really sweaty by the time I get home, so I take my shirt off. I'm a pretty out of shape 6'1", 200 pounds with some tattoos sprinkled here and there. I start cooking a hot dog, open a beer, and put on the TV. The only game on is the Nuggets killing the Wizards (and the Nugs are up by like 30+ in the 3rd), so I do some flipping. I come across the last 20 minutes of October Sky, starring a very young Jake Gyllenhaal. I play hockey, and just got new skates. You've got to wear skates for a few hours to break them in, so I figure now is as good a time as any and lace 'em up.

October Sky's last 15 minutes is the murderers row of emotion! I tune in, and before I finish my beer, Jake wins the state science fair, gets offers to go to college and escape his mining town, meets some scientist hero of his, returns home to rural Virginia a hero, visits some pretty blond lady who is clearly on her death bed, reconciles with his hardass-coal-mining father, and gets with his high school crush. I know it must sound silly, but I start to weep.

So it dawns on me: my biggest nightmare is that someone would have walked in on me. Shirt off, gut out, ice hockey skates on indoors, beer and hot dog in hand, tears rolling down my face like I just got dumped by Jessica Alba.

My question: is this my personal low, or are things gonna get worse before they get better?

Thanks,

~daley
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